You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
