just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
