I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
