I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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