so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
