the new term for farting is butt boxing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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