my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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