bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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