Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
