I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize