he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
