I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
