You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
