I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Who died my cat blue again?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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