so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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