He is such a slut. More and more my type.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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