I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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