she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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