she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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