Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Houston, we have a blender
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
