You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
