I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
