She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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