When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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