I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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