I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
