I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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