is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
