So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
