is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
