this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
