I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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