Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
