I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
