You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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