Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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