I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
