I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it hurts more in the daytime
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
