Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
now i know why i became what i already was.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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