Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
