it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
