Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
