I want to walk on stilts...naked
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
