you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
