He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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