Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
