Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
