just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
