Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
