Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
