Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
