no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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